Scheißtage

np: Betontod – Nichts

Die Vernetzung unserer Häuser ließ uns Einsamkeit erfahren,
Menschen fürchten Menschen, überall lauern Gefahren.

Oh!, die Tickets sind ausverkauft, ah!, die Note ist versemmelt, ih!, das Geld wird knapp, und schon kann es ein weiterer Scheißtag sein, der dich durch die Zeiten quält. Na, wie gehst du damit um?
Heute gab es wieder diesen Moment: Erst kam die Betäubung, dann ging die Hoffnung Borderline und schließlich ein starker Wunsch durch Straßen undurchdringbarer Dunkelheit. So weit, so schlecht; die Gefahr schlägt sich allerdings erst darin nieder, wenn die verfärbten Gedanken, die diesen Wunsch durch das düstere Labyrinth von Trauer, Wut und Melancholie tragen, die anderen, unverbrauchten Gedanken kontaminieren und somit dein Leben vollkotzen. Und kann man’s jemandem verübeln, dann scheiße drauf zu sein? Da bin ich mir nicht so sicher. Ist die Seele erst einmal vollgekotzt, muss die Reinigung vonstatten gehen. Leicht haben’s da diejenigen, die das Putzzeug in sich griffbereit stehen haben.
Denn ich glaube, eines muss man akzeptieren: Die Gedanken, auch die beschissenen, sind Teile von dir und der Körper dein Zuhause. Wie so oft zählen keine Veräußerlichkeiten – dein Auto kann kaputtgehen und dein beschissener Flachbildfernseher niemals die Realität widerspiegeln, dein Job währt nicht ewig und das Geld wird keine Charakterlosigkeit aufwiegen. Alles, was zählt, bist du. Es ist die immer wiederkehrende Frage, was überhaupt passieren soll, wenn man bei sich ist. Nach schönen Zeiten sehnt sich ein jeder Mensch! Das große Glück wird uns deshalb schnell versprochen, doch lange warten wir darauf. Doch was niemand gern verraten mag, ist, dass das große Glück dem kleinen innewohnt; lässt sich eine banale Erkenntnis doch nur schlecht kommerzialisieren, lässt sich’s medienträchtig doch nur schlecht pauschal verbalisieren. Wem willst du vertrauen?
Wenn du’s dir in dir nicht schön einrichtest, deine inneren Räumlichkeiten bloß auf einem lockeren Lehmgemisch aus Angst und Misstrauen fußen, läuft dein Leben auch Gefahr, einzustürzen. Das ist wohl so. Aber eins ist klar, das eigene Einrichten kann dir niemand abnehmen und es nützt demher nichts, die anderen anzuklagen. Sind die Umstände auch beschissen und seist du auch gottlob an der Reihe, dass dir was Gutes widerfährt, eins bleibt immer gültig: Die neue Zeit? Beginnt immer jetzt. Immer jetzt.

Dieser Beitrag wurde unter Ach, Leben! veröffentlicht. Setze ein Lesezeichen auf den Permalink.

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